Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize