im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize