Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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