Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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