Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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