Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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