there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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