saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize