I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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