I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
