Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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