he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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