Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize