i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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