omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The air taste purple.
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