sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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