just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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