look no pants
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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