am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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