I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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