My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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