im drinking this country out of the recession.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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