haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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