I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize