And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I am morally bankrupt
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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