I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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