I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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