You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize