i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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