New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize