come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
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At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you never un-have a 4some
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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