listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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