So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
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During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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