She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
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I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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