he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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