Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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