She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My bed smells like the plague
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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