need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize