i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize