I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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