yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize