it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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