She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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