high people should be assigned attendants
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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