dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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