Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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