Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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