Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize