You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize