i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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